It's almost impossible to review The Substance without spoilers, but I'll try. It's grisly, bone-crunching, shockingly gory stuff, but what a performance from Demi Moore. This is possibly the most bananas movie I've ever seen, and Moore's finest hour in my book.
She plays Elisabeth Sparkle, who hosts a top-rated aerobics show along the lines of the Green Goddess Diana Moran, who donned a green leotard on breakfast telly in the 80s. I'm showing my age now! In fact, age quickly becomes a problem here, as Sparkle overhears her boss Harvey (a brilliantly grotesque Dennis Quaid) formulating a plan to fire her on her 50th birthday, and place a newspaper ad for a younger replacement.
Long story short, Sparkle opts for a very drastic solution, which involves a bright green liquid that creates a younger version of you. The only catch...you take a week each, and have to stick to the schedule at all costs. The younger model is played by Margaret Qualley, who is Andie MacDowall's daughter in real life.
The film tackles misogyny and ageism with aplomb, and I had to watch a fair few scenes through my fingers. My friend Rose commented she liked the way it was shot, with 80s arthouse vibes, and also remarked that the two and a half hour running time flew by. Watch out for the final half hour, which ramps up the craziness into sixth gear.
Another friend Gail says she couldn't stop thinking about what she'd just seen after the credits rolled. If you watch it alone, as I did, you'll feel the same way. It's a rollercoaster ride that takes some processing, and is my joint favourite movie I've seen in September, along with last week's Strange Darling. If you've ever dreamed of a younger version of yourself, this should put you off the idea for life! They definitely broke the mould when they made this one. The mirror scene sticks in the memory, but there are so many. Don't have a big lunch before you go and see it. Unlike Quaid's character, who put me off eating shrimp for a while. Quaid was a replacement for the late Ray Liotta.
Also this week, a blast from the past with a trip to see 2004's classic zom com Shaun Of The Dead. It's aged really well, and Nick Frost is one of those actors who just makes me laugh before he's even said anything. It was a treat to see this back on the big screen, and Bill Nighy & Penelope Wilton both make great zombies. Favourite moments include Queen's Don't Stop Me Now coming on the jukebox during a zombie invasion in the Winchester, Dylan Moran as sarcastic, downbeat David, and the fact zombies can wander London's streets for quite a while in search of flesh before Shaun even notices. A nice cameo from Matt Lucas too.
It has its gory moments, but is a ride on the teacups compared to The Substance. Hot Fuzz next on the big screen, please!
Chimp choice makes sense
Alex's Weekly Film Blog - 10th October
