A Mottram dad is one of 150 runners taking part in the Great Manchester Run to mark the ten-year anniversary for Reuben's Retreat - a charity founded by his wife after the tragic death of their 23-month-old son, Reuben. 

Mike Graham is running to raise funds for the Glossop-based charity which offers help and support to families across the UK experiencing complex child illnesses or bereavement. 

Since its inception, it has helped over 1,400 individuals and has grown to delivering 4,531 hours of support to families in its last financial year alone. 

Mike, 48, is running in Reublue, the colour that symbolises the charity, with a photo of his son waving on the back. You can support his fundraising efforts by donating via his JustGiving page: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/daddymike

Mike explained: "We drove down to Devon as a family of four to go on a camping holiday and we came back as a family of three.

“Before we went away we had no idea that something was seriously wrong with Reuben. A few weeks before the holiday he started avoiding certain foods and things like toothpaste, but we took him to the doctor and they said it was just ‘usual’ toddler virus.  

“We went back to the doctor when he started being sick and putting his head on his shoulder but they said it was just a virus again and some fresh air on holiday would do him good.

“On the drive to Devon we had to stop at Gloucester hospital because he was being sick again, but the doctor there advised he had an ear infection - our biggest worry then was that we couldn’t take him in the pool.

“But a few days into the holiday Reuben lost his balance, fell over and banged his head. He cried a lot and then he was just silent.”

The family rushed him to the small local hospital at Barnstable A&E, where a CT scan revealed a suspected brain tumour.

Mike said: "The doctors weren’t too concerned until we got the scan results, but then everything became very serious. He was airlifted to a neurological unit in Bristol to go straight into surgery. But we weren’t allowed in the helicopter with him. We met him there, waiting to find out more about the tumour, at this point, we didn’t know if it was cancerous or not.

“In surgery, Reuben went into cardiac arrest twice, the doctors kept trying everything that they could. 

“We were hoping desperately they would be able to do something but after six days, following the advice from the doctors, we made the difficult decision to remove Reuben’s life support. 

“He was a very poorly little boy and we understood that he had less than a one per cent chance of recovering from what we found out to be a very rare aggressive cancer. Reuben was suffering from an ATRT a brain tumour which we later discovered was 6cm in diameter and had grown rapidly in around six weeks." 

Reuben Graham

In the days leading up to his death, Nicola had come up with the idea for Reuben’s Retreat - a legacy in Reuben’s name. Before they made the five-hour-round trip home she told Mike what she wanted to do.

Mike explains: “We wanted to donate Reuben’s organs to help others but because of his multiple organ failure. This devastated us even more. Nicola didn't want his death to be in vain so she came up with Reuben’s Retreat.

“Nicola reflected on the memories that had been made with Reuben as a family because we’d both worked in the travel industry and we'd been fortunate to have lots of holidays together. We wanted to give other families this same opportunity. 

“She wanted to create a place for people to have memories with their children and support them through their death or complex needs.”

Nicola started the charity from an office in Ashton-under-Lyne where families who’d lost children could come for special bereavement counselling. 

Mike added: “We were offered bereavement counselling ourselves but it was with someone who dealt with deaths of older people, and what we’d experienced was totally different. It wasn’t what we needed.

“That’s when we knew there had to be more support for families like us. So we knew we needed to offer special counselling to families. 

“The word spread like wildfire on social media, we had families reaching out to us for help and we were also overwhelmed with support.”

Reuben's Retreat in Glossop 

The same year that Reuben passed away over 250 people took part in the Great Manchester Run, all wearing Reublue vests with Reuben’s photo on the back to support the charity. This inspired Mike to get involved, and he’s done it every year since.

He explained: “I was with Isaac, who was five at the time, watching the race and I saw all these people in Reublue go past and I couldn’t believe it, I was overwhelmed. So I promised him I’d join them next year.

“I’d never run in my life, in fact, I couldn’t even run two minutes but I built it up and now I do it every year. The crowd in Manchester is amazing, they really cheer you on and create the atmosphere. I love the live music too! 

“And every time one of us in Reublue runs past one another we pat them on the back and give them some motivation. It’s going to be even more special this year on our anniversary.” 

The funds raised will go towards building Reuben’s Retreat to expand its facilities and support. 

Mike said: “We want to build five self-contained apartments for families to stay together - it’s a multi-million-pound project. We’ve come so far but we have a long way to go. 

“No one has given Reuben’s Retreat a million, or even half a million pounds, but we’ve been able to get to where we are today from the small donations from hundreds and thousands of people.

“From scouts to brownies doing bake sales, to people doing races like the Great Manchester Run, we’ve managed to do so many amazing things we’re just so grateful to everyone for their support.

“You really see the beauty in people when you do something like Reuben’s Retreat, people truly come together through terrible times to make a difference.”

The Great Manchester Run will take place on Sunday 22 May. If you’ve been inspired to enter, find out more at greatrun.org/manchester