Mum who lost son to suicide says help is available for men in Tameside

A mum who lost her son to suicide is highlighting support available for men struggling with their mental health.

Jo Mellor, told how her “cheeky, funny, talented and kind” son Vittorio, a carpet fitter and musician from Hyde, took his own life in 2017 when he was 26.

Soon after his death, Jo started volunteering for the men’s mental health charity Mentell and she now works for the organisation full time as their community manager.

Jo will be representing Mentell at Tameside Men’s Mental Health Conference, a free event to be held at Hyde Town Hall 9am to 3.30pm on Friday 11 October, the day after World Mental Health Day. 

She said: “I can’t change Vittorio’s story but I can help to change someone else’s.”

Jo told how Vittorio had struggled with his mental health from being aged about 22 but for the most part he masked it.

“Vittorio was fun loving, cheeky, handsome, funny, and charming. He played the guitar and would sing in local pubs and we often went out to live gigs and meals together. We were very close. Everybody loved him - he would do anything for anyone and was very kind - he was a beautiful boy.

“But behind all of this he was also very sensitive and struggled with his mental health. He would go from being very confident to being at rock bottom.

“He masked how he was feeling with alcohol and going out excessively, but we didn’t realise these were signs he was struggling.”

On April 3, 2017, Jo received a phone call from her ex husband, Vittorio’s father, who told her to come to the hospital immediately. Vittorio had been found collapsed by a friend after harming himself. He remained unconscious in Tameside Hospital for three days before he died.

Jo said: “As devastating as it was, I remain thankful for those three days I had with him, to cuddle him and say goodbye. Some parents don’t get that.

“It was a horrific time but it was also filled with a lot of love and I saw human kindness at its best. Everyone from the hospital staff to the police and so many others showed my family so much care and kindness.”

Jo was so inspired by the kindness she was shown that when she found out about Mentell and the opportunity to do something positive for others, she embraced it.

Now she devotes her time to fundraising and attending conferences, workplaces, health settings, shopping centres and other pop up events to tell her story and highlight the support that’s available for men struggling with their mental health.

“My story is real and is resonates with people, whether as parents or otherwise, it makes them feel and that’s very powerful in giving others the confidence to open up.

“It can be so ingrained in men to hide how they are feeling and not talk about it. Sometimes I give talks and not one man can look me in the eye but afterwards they often do get in touch with Mentell for support.

“I know I have saved lives and I just hope I can save others or help other people in my position. Your world doesn’t end when you lose someone to suicide, there is light at the end of the tunnel and you must walk towards that light - or even leg it - because it is there.”

Tameside Council executive member for public health Cllr Eleanor Wills said: “We all need to be looking after our mental wellbeing, just as we would our physical health, but men can be less likely to open up, talk and seek help. Thank you to Jo for sharing her story, it is really powerful in helping to raise awareness of the support available. Thanks also the Anthony Seddon Fund for arranging Tameside Men’s Mental Health Conference, bringing services together that can support local residents in getting the right help at the right time.”

Tameside Men’s Mental Health Conference, which is being organised by The Anthony Seddon Fund and is supported by Tameside Council, will showcase the mental health support available for men in Tameside. 

Mentell provides men (aged 18+) with safe and confidential spaces to talk, free from advice and judgement. It is free, there’s no pressure and no commitment.

For information see www.mentell.org.uk. 

If emergency help is required, please call the Samaritans on 116 123.